young, unemployed, and setting a new standard for STOKE

David Fay and I have had a very productive fall season in the Front Range, with great adventures every weekend. It helps that he's not working, so every time I drag my tired ass back home on Friday he's there full of piss and vinegar, packing my car telling me to hurry up so we can head out.

Recently he set a new standard for the stoke of the young and unemployed, when on my way back from a field trip with my geology class I received this masterpiece in my email inbox. I never before received planning info for a climbing mission that involved labelled figures, or a scale bar. At least David learned something in college. Geology nerds, woohoo!

This is surely a new frontier of trip planning, and I hope it will inspire future generations to get mad STOKED and engage in crushing on an unprecedented level:

Risk Analysis

With the government debacle waging on, the prospect of an open National Park appears smaller and smaller each day. Therefore I have taken the initiative to outline the risks and rewards associated with a North-South Rim link up.

We have the benefit of entering and leaving the depths of the canyon under the cover of night. The North Rim of the Black Canyon barely qualifies as a national park with no entrance fees, dirt roads and a lonely ranger station. Even though its only 1/4 of a mile from the South Rim (as the bird flies), its at least a 2 hour drive or a burly descent into the chasms of the Black. This 1/4 mile of land stands to be so heinously unappealing that no permanent trails have been built to enter it from the South and it seems only the deranged attempt to venture there. Just as climbers have been left at peace the last few weeks on El Cap, I expect that we will not encounter another soul within the canyon. Yet, I believe it is important that we do not completely top out the South Chasm View Wall. Standing at the foot of pedestrian trails leave us susceptible up to unnecessary risks.

Figure 1

--It's safe to assume that roads going into National Parks will be closed. This is an optimistic parking location, within the park. This route would add 3.1 miles of flat walking to the beginning and end of our day. An extended approach may require bikes to access the trailhead (think beater bikes).

Figure 2

--Driving directions from Caramillo St with alternate approach beta.

Figure 3

--Close up of alternate approach.  A direct westward approach from Highway 92 allows us to join the Black Canyon Rd within the park, diminishing the duration of time in which we are exposed.  And increasing the probability of gaining proximal access to the trailhead.  Scale bar in bottom left included for reference.  

A Short List of Risks and Possible Outcomes

Worst Case Scenario: We walk into the park at 2:30am. We are confronted. We are asked to leave and escorted out. (I will bring my Nation Parks Pass to encourage positive interactions)

Middle Case Scenario: We climb to top of South Chasm View Wall. We are confronted. We are asked to leave. We have to hitchhike back to our car on the North Rim, but we sent Astro Dog and we're stoked.

Best Case Scenario: We park at the trailhead and scamper down the SOB gully under the cover of night. We find the tyrolean first try and Drew crosses it first with both packs. I'm stoked so I walk across the rope like a slackline, balancing on top. We climb the first few pitches by headlamp and arrive at the crux just as the sun is rising. I go for the onsight and send it! Then we figure that we have a little extra time and that Drew has been dying to send this pitch, so we pull the ropes and he gives it a go on the sharp end. Drew paces a bomber purple C3 and commits. Having dialed in the moves on his last few gos, he flows through the sequences and we top out Astro Dog by 10am. We return to the tyrolean with enough daylight to deem a light lunch by the river both worthy and necessary. After feasting on watermelon and cantaloupe stashed in the water on our way over to keep them cool, we turn our sights towards The Cruise. The Cruise is only 5.10--in Black--so we, well, cruise it and top out as the sun sets over the horizon. We get naked. And walk back to the car in the dark. As far as we can tell, nobody saw us.

A Short List of Rewards

--Eating a cantaloup for breakfest--Getting to role play a Covert Opps Mission. 
"Where is the safe zone?"
"There is no safe zone in enemy territory. Keep moving."

or

"Dude. I left the map and compass in the car. We're fucked."
"Woah, calm down its going to be alright. We know Terrain Association. These walls are big. We'll find them."

--Drinking beer at the car
--Drinking whiskey on route
--Sending the crux of Astro Dog